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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

To prepare for the "holiday", I read about all of the traps for "Saw". No, I did not see the movies. Yes, I'm a pussy when it comes to gorey/splatter/torture-porn films! So damn what! *side-eyes Chris*

Anyway, on C+D, I started futzing around with the concept of celebrity "Saw" traps, so without further adieu, here is the first of a possible series!

NOTE: This is all done in fun and I do not wish any of the celebrities harmed and/or killed.


Beyonce

She wakes up in a concert arena, strapped to a chair with wires attached to her hair and clothes. A tape clicks on.

Jigsaw: Beyonce Knowles. You are admired all over the world for many things, but moreso for your luxurious locks. Your assertion that your hair is real fools your adoring public but it has not fooled me. You are also admired for having a successful career which you avoid the trappings of by your virtue of modesty. *chuckles*

*quick clips of Beyonce's "wardrobe malfunctions" are shown on a screen in front of her*

Millions of females hope that they can be just like you because you're so...real. Well, let's see how they feel after your test.

If you want to live, you will have to shed those things that make you "real". Make your way to the exit directly in front of you and you will find a key that unlocks the door. Let the game begin.

*tape clicks off*

*spotlight shines on her*

She trys to get out of the chair and feels her lacefront and clothes pulling. Suddenly, she hears an unholy roar and feels trembles beneath her feet. Panicked, she bolts out of the chair, and her lacefront and clothing are ripped off by the wires. Tear-stained, bloody and naked, she runs to the edge of the stage.

*house lights come up*

The roars and trembling she heard and felt were those of the packed house in the concert arena, expecting to see an impromptu concert. Cameras flash all around her and cell phone cameras roll. Blinded by the lights, she runs through the irate crowd to get to the exit. After fighting her way through the laughing and disgusted fans, she finds the key and unlocks the door. She runs out into the lobby but doesn't notice that her feet passes through a laser. The laser triggers a gun and a single bullet is fired into her right temple.

The crowd hears the shot and runs out into the lobby. There they find a dead Beyonce, face-down with a bloody gun in her hand.

After worldwide speculations and "witnesses", it is concluded that Beyonce died of a self-inflicted gunshot would to the head. Sources say that rather than dealing with the shame of being shown to be false, she killed herself.

3 comments:

Invisible Woman said...

We should only be so lucky...

Ambz said...

http://ohellnawl.blogspot.com/2007/11/we-callin-you-out-mfers.html

Blog check homie!!!

Julia_Claudine_Deveraux said...

*HOWLS WITH EVIL LAUGHTER*. Me and my baby have this running joke about putting our less desired folks in Saw traps hahaha!